August 31, 2006 at 9:09 am | Posted in Adoption Updates | 1 Comment

When I was pregnant with Sophie I didn’t buy a single thing for her until I was probably past the first trimester.  The very first thing I bought which was really for her room not so much her was a gargoyle.  Prior to us getting pregnant the door to the room she was to occupy had been closed because it was too painful a reminder of what we were missing in our lives.  Once we got past that first trimester and started breathing a bit easier, I wanted something to protect her from harm.  Since I was doing everything in my power to protect her physically, I bought the gargoyle to watch over her room until we brought her home.  He still sits atop her dresser today always watching over her bed.

I got pregnant in January and the first gift that I received for Sophie was an Easter Basket from my Mom.  It had some candy in it but it also had a stuffed bunny that is only about 6″ tall that is so soft I feel in love with it when I saw it.  But I was too scared to bring it home.  I was convinced that if I started really acting like I was going to have a baby (i.e. buying clothes and toys and whatnot) something bad would happen.  So we kept the stuffed bunny at my Mom’s house for about 2 more months before I dared bring it home.  I think it took another couple of weeks before I brought it into Sophie’s room.

Over the next few months we started looking at cribs and furniture and bedding and all that stuff but there was always a part of me that was so afraid to openly acknowledge that I was going to be a mother.  I truly, honestly thought it would jinx me and the pregnancy.  I think I made my mother a little nervous by putting off ordering furniture until I was almost 7 months pregnant.  I just couldn’t deal with having to return things I had become attached to if something had happened to Sophie.

The same has held true for Brother although I am a bit looser about it.  I’ve picked up a stuffed bear, a couple of blankets, a package of burp cloths with little trains and cars on them.  We also bought a bumper padoff ebay at a much lower than retail cost and some wallies to match to decorate the room.  But it was a long time ago and they’ve been locked inside my hope chest waiting to emerge.  I don’t like to look in there or even think about them being there because that old fear of a jinx comes creeping into my heart. 

Today, I took a stand against the jinx.  Against my better judgment while sifting through the sale items at Old Navy I just couldn’t let these two gems go unpurchased:

A pair of groovy board shorts for the pool next summer. And can you make out the price tag?  $2.97!  Can’t beat that deal!

And a bitchin’ surfer polo to boot.

I hope this has not significantly shifted the adoption universe.  And if it has then I will just have to perform a sacrifice to appease them…wonder if shitty kitty will mind taking one for the team?

Conversations with Sophie – Act 2

August 30, 2006 at 9:11 am | Posted in Sophie stuff | Comments Off on Conversations with Sophie – Act 2

Fade in: interior room appears to be a dressing area.  Flabby mom is dressing while rambunctious toddler plays around her feet trying on different shoes and clothing items.  Mom is distressed as none of her clothes are currently fitting without straining across her ample derriere.  Curious toddler gives puzzling look to flabby mom.

Sophie (toddler): What you doing, Mommy?

Mom: Trying to find something to wear today.

Sophie:  You wearing green shirt?

Mom:  Mmmm, maybe.  As Mom begins to remove pajamas, she hears the landscapers begin to cut the grass outside. Mom attempts to distract nosy toddler.  Do you hear the boys outside?

Sophie:  Mommy you be nakie for boys?

I kid you not……

Parenting 101

August 29, 2006 at 2:08 pm | Posted in What the hell? | Leave a comment

I try not to pass judgment on other parents because frankly, parenting is the hardest job in the world.  But lately a string of incidents have me really wondering what the hell is going on out there. 

The first, and I couldn’t find a link back to the article because it has apparently been a while, was about a young child in the Western suburbs who drown.  If I remember the story correctly the boy, who I’m thinking was somewhere around the age of 3-4, “snuck” out of his house and wandered away.  I believe he was found later the same day or early the next day in the shallows of a river drowned.  The initial reports were lacking a bit of substance indicating simply that the boy had drown.  My heart ached for his family and friends having to cope with such a loss.  Over the next day or two additional stories ran that included quotes from neighbors indicating that the child had a history of “escaping” from the house and “wandering” the neighborhood. 

I have been blessed with a terribly “easy” child as I’m reminded by my sisters and mother quite regularly.  I have no idea what it is like to have a climber (my almost 3 yr old daughter is still in a crib because she hasn’t even attempted to climb out) let alone a sneaker and wanderer.  HOWEVER, as soon as Sophie figured out how to open a door I never left her unattended around an unlocked door because I knew she would open the door and go outside.  So I’m wondering at what point when you have a known “escaper” and “wanderer” do you lock the child inside with whatever means necessary to protect them?  Seriously?!  My heart aches for that child but I’m so pissed at the parents I can’t even see straight when I think about it.

The second incident occurred earlier this month when a 10 year old girl collapsed and died after riding a roller coaster at Six Flags Great America in Gurnee.  Back in 2002, an 11 year old girl also died after riding a different roller coaster at the same theme park.  What do these girls have in common? Both had a history of heart problems known to their families.  So my response?  WTF are these families thinking?  Anyone who has been to a Six Flags or Disney theme park are aware that all rides have warnings at the entrance regarding pregnant women and people with heart conditions.  So why in God’s name are parents letting their children go on these rides???

It may be easy to judge from the outside and I may be making too simple a conclusion based on a small bit of evidence presented in the news.  But I just don’t understand why, when there is a known issue whether it be a medical condition or a spirited, clever demeanor, aren’t parents protecting their children more and are they surprised to know that there are people like me out there who have no sympathy for them what so ever?

Inside the Actors Studio

August 27, 2006 at 8:33 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Have you ever seen the show Inside the Actors Studio on Bravo?  If you’re like me and like pretty much anything that has to do with movies and actors you really need to check this show out.  It basically is a one-on-one interview that takes an in-depth look at the life and career of a given celebrity.  The host, James Lipton, has been spoofed on SNL by Will Farrell and it is hilarious.

At the end of each episode/interview, Mr. Lipton asks each guest a series of questions first made famous by french journalist Bernard Pivot on his program Bouillon de Culture.  It is always interesting to hear about the lives of celebrities but honestly, don’t we know the drill by now?  They were all poor, grew up in broken homes, gave up all they had to move to California to “make it big”, waited tables, blah, blah, blah.  The best part is the questionnaire at the end that always reminds me that there may be thousands of miles and millions of dollars that separate me and George Clooney, but we’re not that different after all.

So here are the questions and my answers.  Anyone want to play?

What is your favorite word?  Rambunctious

What is your least favorite word?  Hate

What is your favorite curse word?  I say shit a lot but my favorite sounding is Motherfucker*

What turns you on? Reciprocity

What turns you off?  Manipulation

What sound do you love?  The deep belly laughter of a child

What sound do you hate?  A radio that is out of tune.

What profession, other than your own, would you like to attempt?  Any type of artist: painter, singer, actor

What profession would you not like to attempt?  Anything that has to do with garbage or feces

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?  You’re home and your loved ones are here.

*Shout out to colesedwards for remembering I missed this one originally.  Can’t believe I missed it because it’s my favorite question.

How much is that doggie in the window?

August 26, 2006 at 6:16 am | Posted in What the hell? | 3 Comments


Can someone please explain me the idea behind displaying 100 stuffed animals on the rear dash of your car?  I mean, seriously, what the hell is that all about?  Every time I’m out driving and I see a car with the rear dash loaded with stuffed animals I wonder what in God’s name possesses anyone to do this?  This is no random act.  You have to take the time to select the right animals and artfully arrange them so that all their little heads are facing out and staring down the drivers behind them. 

Generally speaking, these are grown women driving these cars.  I mean, how many grown women are still hanging on to the stuffed animals from their youth?  Please don’t tell me they are buying new animals just for this purpose.  Can you imagine what their homes must look like if they have to resort to displaying animals in their car?  Are there shrines in their homes paying homage to these silly creatures?  And how heinous must these animals be? Sitting in the hot sun day after day after day with the humidity in the summer and the cold in the winter.  These things must be completely disease laden.  I would think it would take a haz-mat team and some serious bomb squad detonation materials to clear out one of these cars.  I wonder, are these the same women who buy the hideous holiday themed sweaters?   Someone must be buying them because they keep making them.  Maybe we could put the sweaters on the stuffed animals and have one huge bonfire. 

I think it should be a pre-requisite when you take a driver’s license test to have your car examined to ensure this practice is not being encouraged.  In fact, I think anyone dumb enough to stock stuffed animals in their car should be ticketed for endangering other drivers who rubberneck to confirm that they have just seen another wack-job driving down the road.  I think if these people took the money they spent on stuffed animals and put it towards something socially relevant the world could be a better place. In fact, if I ever run for President or Miss America, I think I will make ridding the roadways of America from senseless displays of stuffed animals my platform. 

Friday Fun Pic – part 8

August 24, 2006 at 7:43 pm | Posted in Friday Fun Pic | 2 Comments

In the midst of my blahness I started thinking about all the things that make me blah.  As my train of thought rambled I came to my most blahist time always: winter.  I hate winter.  I hate snow.  I hate being cold.  I hate being wet and cold.  But there is always the anticipation of crisp fall weather and even the first couple of snow falls.  Truly, though, we are all pretty much over it by January 2nd.  So I came across this picture we took from our bedroom window this past winter:

And even though I hate winter and hate being cold and wearing 10,000 layers to keep warm, there is a simplistic beauty in its stillness.  Can’t you just imagine the winter silence surrounding these suburban streets in the early hours of the morning?


August 23, 2006 at 9:47 am | Posted in General Junk | 2 Comments

I’ve got a wicked case of the blahs.  It’s keeping me from updating the blog.  I can’t think of anything interesting to write about.  Maybe it’s the blahs or maybe it’s the fact that I started this blog as a place to update friends and family about our adoption.  I’m feeling like we’ve stagnated on the adoption front – changes in Korea and referrals slowing down have left me feeling well, blah.

So I’m blah.  Blahbity, blah, blah, blah.  So here’s some boring blah stuff for you all:

I’ve tried changing the look of the blog but I’m not computer literate so I am dependent on the templates provided by WordPress.  Unfortunately this is the only look I really like and that I have been able to figure out how to configure to have the links I want.

Shitty Kitty puked again yesterday.  Once on the couch and once on the floor.  He puked while we were sleeping on our floor so Ed locked him in the bathroom downstairs for the night.  Could this be the beginning of the end?  He’s been sleeping alot and puking more than “normal”.

I’m taking Sophie to the doctor today for her 3 year check-up and preshool physical.  I’ve been talking to her about it in hopes of alleviating some of her fear.  Every once in a while I’ll hear her say, “Dr. Peters is a nice guy.”  Too funny…poor thing, she has no idea what she has coming.  2 shots for sure…ugh.

I haven’t had any good dreams lately…none of the male persuasion anyway.  I did have a dream about the bathroom last night.  Something weird where I was trying to potty train Sophie in a strange public toilet that had two stalls that were fairly open.  I forget what bathroom dreams mean…I’ll have to look it up in my dream book.

I’m organizing some things for a garage my sister’s neighborhood has in Wisconsin.  Hopefully we’ll sell the big stuff and have some cash to buy some things for Brother…if he ever gets here.

September must be the month for health because I’m seeing the eye doctor, the dentist and the crotch doctor.  Don’t you wish you were me?

That’s about it…see I told you. Blah.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Shitty Kitty

August 21, 2006 at 10:59 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

When I started dating my husband he had a cat.  A very beautiful, friendly, playful cat that he named Nitz.  For any of you Jerky Boysfans out there, you know where he got his name.  For those of you who are not Jerky Boys fans lets just say that it came from a very juvenile comedy sketch team that earned their glory from crank calling unsuspecting people.

Growing up I was very allergic to cats.  In fact we had a cat for a couple of days (I think it was a couple of days) but my older sister Sara was so allergic that we had to get rid of it.  So I wasn’t really sure how the union between Ed and I would go considering I had a cat allergy.  Over time, amazingly, I seem to have grown out of my allergy.  I can even say that I’ve learned to like the shitty kitty. 

But we have our moments.  Mostly our moments revolve around the shitty kitty puking all over our house.  I mean all over our house.  On our bed.  Our couch. The carpeting.  This is when I hate the shitty kitty.   I think he knows how much I hate it and saves it all for me.  He puked on my bed (thankfully I had a blanket on top of it sparing the bed from any puke) last week when Ed was out of town.  He puked this morning just after Ed left for work.  I swear he knows how much I hate it….asshole.

The evil part of me, the shitty kitty puke hating and black hair EVERYWHERE in my house part of me, secretly plots to kill the shitty kitty while Ed is out of town.  The nice loving part of me knows that shitty kitty got the raw end of the deal when Sophie was born.  He was our first “baby” reveling in all the attention and now he is a second class citizen searching out even the slightest bit of attention where ever he can find it.  Poor shitty kitty….

Duck – D + F

August 20, 2006 at 6:54 am | Posted in Adoption Updates | Leave a comment


 Warning:  Irate adoption update rant ahead.  Most likely rated R for language.  Not for the faint of heart. 

Remember when I wrote that one isn’t such a lonely number?  Well, apparently those losers who sang the song were right.  One is the loneliest fucking number ever….because now we’re number 2 on the referral list.  Like poo…a big, brown pile of steaming poo

Apparently while said less-than-desirable social worker was on vacation, another fabulously lucky couple in front of us on THE FUCKING LIST got a referral that they subsequently declined.  I have no idea why it took so long for them to come to a decision but apparently because they had been ahead of us on the list, they now come back on the list ahead of us.  I’m still trying to get my fat head around why we were not shown the referral.  I thought if we were next in line we would be presented with the referral but we saw nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip. Zero.  I was so stunned when social worker told me this news I forgot to ask why were wern’t shown the referral.  Hopefully she’ll call us back on Monday and tell us why.

So I’ve taken down the dumb ticker at the top of the blog because honestly, I can’t stand to see that we are still on the waiting list let alone back into the #2 position.  For the life of me I just can’t figure out what it is that I have done to deserve such a difficult path to parenthood.  Again.


Happy Birthday

August 19, 2006 at 6:09 am | Posted in General Junk | Leave a comment

39 years and counting….next year will be a big one.  Happy Birthday husband!

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