August 31, 2006 at 9:09 am | Posted in Adoption Updates | 1 Comment

When I was pregnant with Sophie I didn’t buy a single thing for her until I was probably past the first trimester.  The very first thing I bought which was really for her room not so much her was a gargoyle.  Prior to us getting pregnant the door to the room she was to occupy had been closed because it was too painful a reminder of what we were missing in our lives.  Once we got past that first trimester and started breathing a bit easier, I wanted something to protect her from harm.  Since I was doing everything in my power to protect her physically, I bought the gargoyle to watch over her room until we brought her home.  He still sits atop her dresser today always watching over her bed.

I got pregnant in January and the first gift that I received for Sophie was an Easter Basket from my Mom.  It had some candy in it but it also had a stuffed bunny that is only about 6″ tall that is so soft I feel in love with it when I saw it.  But I was too scared to bring it home.  I was convinced that if I started really acting like I was going to have a baby (i.e. buying clothes and toys and whatnot) something bad would happen.  So we kept the stuffed bunny at my Mom’s house for about 2 more months before I dared bring it home.  I think it took another couple of weeks before I brought it into Sophie’s room.

Over the next few months we started looking at cribs and furniture and bedding and all that stuff but there was always a part of me that was so afraid to openly acknowledge that I was going to be a mother.  I truly, honestly thought it would jinx me and the pregnancy.  I think I made my mother a little nervous by putting off ordering furniture until I was almost 7 months pregnant.  I just couldn’t deal with having to return things I had become attached to if something had happened to Sophie.

The same has held true for Brother although I am a bit looser about it.  I’ve picked up a stuffed bear, a couple of blankets, a package of burp cloths with little trains and cars on them.  We also bought a bumper padoff ebay at a much lower than retail cost and some wallies to match to decorate the room.  But it was a long time ago and they’ve been locked inside my hope chest waiting to emerge.  I don’t like to look in there or even think about them being there because that old fear of a jinx comes creeping into my heart. 

Today, I took a stand against the jinx.  Against my better judgment while sifting through the sale items at Old Navy I just couldn’t let these two gems go unpurchased:

A pair of groovy board shorts for the pool next summer. And can you make out the price tag?  $2.97!  Can’t beat that deal!

And a bitchin’ surfer polo to boot.

I hope this has not significantly shifted the adoption universe.  And if it has then I will just have to perform a sacrifice to appease them…wonder if shitty kitty will mind taking one for the team?


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  1. Good For You!

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