October 30, 2006 at 7:21 am | Posted in Sophie stuff | 3 Comments

At this time three years ago today I was checking in to Lutheran General Hospital to be induced.  I was nervous, anxious and in a general fog of denial that I was finally going to have a baby.  It was such a surreal experience almost like checking into a hotel.  The nurses knew who I was and were all ready for me.  It certainly wasn’t how I had expected to enter the hospital.  (Imagine the worst soap opera birthing experience you can recall with profuse sweating and screaming….intense labor, woman yelling at her husband, “I can’t do this…..I can’t do this…”)

Now as I look back the day was mostly a blur with vivid images I can recall.  The labor was in some respects so much more intense than I ever imagined but also no where near as bad as I imagined.  I’m sure that had mostly to do with the anesthesiologist…whom I still love to this day. 

At 5:56 pm she was here.  She was perfect.  She was ours.  And this was what I saw the very first time I saw her:

I just couldn’t believe how perfect she is.  And that she was living inside of me.  And I couldn’t believe how much I already loved her even though this was the first time I was seeing her.

I cannot believe….I mean really believe that it has been three years since this day.  There are times when it seems as though she was born just yesterday.  And there are times when it feels like she has been with us for so much longer.   So my precious Bean…this day is for you.  I love you more every minute I am with you and I hope that some day I can convey to you how much you mean to me.  Thank you for being my Bean..


Friday Fun Pic – part 15

October 27, 2006 at 8:06 am | Posted in Friday Fun Pic | Leave a comment

Do not attempt to wake me unless you are prepared to suffer the wrath of a very tired, very crabby almost 3 year old.

Three – tres – Trios

October 26, 2006 at 2:08 pm | Posted in Sophie stuff | 1 Comment

I have been such a bad blogger lately.  I think it’s been a combination of hurting my back last weekend, having a few things I want to write about but being too emotional about them thus needing some time to really think about what I write before I write it, and planning Sophie’s third birthday.  Yes, Sophie Bean is turning 3 on the 30th but we’ll be celebrating fiesta style on Saturday.  I cannot believe three years have passed since we first met.  I’ll write more about that on her actual birthday I think.

For now I’m in crazy party preparation mode making list upon list to ensure we have all bases covered.  I tell you, party preparation is no fun.  Party hosting isn’t all that fun either because I always worry if there is enough food, if everyone is having fun, did I forget anything.  I do have to say that I have learned to relax a bit over the past couple of years and take the stance that if someone isn’t have fun well, that’s their problem not mine.  There is only so much I can do and the rest is out of my hands.

I decided to go with a Mexican theme as I’m always looking for an easy dinner entree that can possibly be prepared ahead of time.  This hopefully eliminates the need for me to be cooking while guests are here and clear minded enough to have to follow a recipe.  We’re going with the taco bar for dinner – hard and soft shell tacos,  lettuce, tomatoes, onion, cheese, lettuce, black olives, nopales, taco sauce, rice and re-fried black beans.  Yum-o as Rachel Ray would say.  Hopefully this will appease the heartiest of appetites and allow my fellow mothers to custom build tacos to every child’s delight.  If not well, there is always cake.

Of course there will be margaritas and I think Aunt Kayla is bringing some wine (sangria maybe?).  Oh, do you think we have enough beer:

Once we get past this weekend and the actual birthday and Halloween I’ll do my best to get up some of the posts that are in progress.  Until then I’ll do my best to share some party/Birthday/Halloween pics with y’all.


Just for fun

October 23, 2006 at 10:20 am | Posted in General Junk | 3 Comments

I’ve been having a hard time finding things to write about lately…and I hurt my back this weekend so I didn’t update at all.  Not sure if that had to do with the pain I was feeling or the pain I wasn’t feeling after my mom passed on some muscle relaxers to ease my discomfort.  So until I am inspired by something and/or feeling better, here are some fun websites I think you’ll enjoy:

Magic Dog Studio: Ever since Sophie was born I’ve been on the lookout for some cool mother’s jewelry.  I’m not a big jewelry person but really wanted something that was a piece of her to carry with me all the time.  I found this website from the Mommies With Style blog that I check just about every day.  It’s a neat jewelry idea that won’t break the bank.

The Nappy Sac: Another thing I’ve been on the prowl for is something to carry just a few diapers and wipes in along with a few mom essentials (keys, chapstick, driver’s licence, ATM card, etc).  The folks at The Nappy Sac have come up with a cute and functional on-the-go bag for quick trips out that don’t warrant packing a full diaper bag.

Perpetual Kid: This is a great website for downright goofy nicknack’s for the home and the office.  Most items are really reasonably priced and make great gifts for co-workers and friends.  Warning: they have a lot of products and you may find yourself browsing for a while…just don’t get caught if you’re browsing at work.

Mabel’s Labels:  This Canadian site specializes in quirky labels for a wide variety of products.  From bottles to backpacks to toothbrushes and shoes, they have all your labeling needs covered.  Great for school/daycare items and a must for children heading off to camp this summer.

Hope this holds you over for a bit…until I get back (no pun intended) on track…

The Flip Side of Infertility

October 18, 2006 at 3:21 pm | Posted in Infertility | Leave a comment

There was a span of time a very, very long time ago that I thought I might have been pregnant.  This was long before I knew I was infertile….long before I had found the right kind of person to share my life with.  I can remember for about a week I was on the edge of completely losing my mind.  We were careful – we used a condom.  But condoms aren’t 100% effective.  How could I be late?  What was I going to tell my mom? How was she going to react?  How could I let this happen?  I can’t finish high school pregnant…how am I going to tell my boyfriend?  Will he stand by me or leave me if I am pregnant?  How in the world am I going to survive an abortion? 

I couldn’t even wrap my head around the possibility of having an unwanted pregnancy.  There were times while we were trying to conceive that I wondered if my thoughts during this time in my past contributed to my inability to conceive now.  (I know that sounds strange but if you fertiles out there with an infertile friend ever get on the subject of the junk that goes through an infertile’s mind while they are trying to figure out why they are infertile, you would be amazed at what we can come up with).    Then my period came….and I thanked God every day, several times a day for many, many days.

There were always rumors about girls in high school who had abortions…I have no idea if any of them did or didn’t.  But I had an idea of how they were regarded among their peers.  I don’t know what was the worst part of it: the fact they had sex, the fact they had sex and weren’t careful about (because back then I seriously doubt we gave much thought to the fact that birth control isn’t 100% effective), or that they just didn’t care about their unborn child and decided to terminate a pregnancy.  I never really stopped to think about these girls….until I found myself about to possibly become one of them.  

The them…. they are people with stories to tell about how and why they made the choice they did.  It’s not always cut and dry.  It’s not ever easy, I would imagine.  Now we can hear their stories and understand why it’s important to have a choice.  

 In this months issue of MS Magazine, the names of over 1,000 women who have had abortions will be published as a testament to the deep emotional impact their choice has had on their lives.  Some of these women are famous…most are not.  But they are bonded by a single life changing event that stirs deep and fierce emotions inside people all over the world.

Needles and Pins

October 17, 2006 at 9:24 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Happy thoughts going out to M and her family today as they anxiously await the arrival of their son Luke from South Korea!  Can’t wait to hear all about it!!!

Things that make you go hmmmm

October 14, 2006 at 11:02 am | Posted in General Junk | 1 Comment

My friend Melissa called me a week or so ago looking for my input on a personality profile exam she was taking for a potential job.  After I got over my hysterical fits of laughter because she thought to contact me (I mean really, I’ve been out of the corporate workforce for 3 years now.  What do I possibly know about conversing with adults anymore?), she posed a very interesting question.  So COME ON PEOPLE, come forward and share with me.  How would you answer this question:

If you can say anything, to anyone, at any time without any retribution or negative consequences, what would you say and who would you say it to?

Edited to add:  Ok that was really lame…no takers at all?  I know there are people out there reading this….too chicken?  Or was that too personal a question?  I didn’t mean to intrude…just thought it could be fun…oh well…..maybe next time….

The Ten v.1

October 13, 2006 at 8:19 am | Posted in The TEN | 4 Comments

So I’ve been trying to think of things to write about that are remotely interesting in order to keep up traffic on my blog.  So I nose around other blogs and steal their ideas.  Yes, I’m a stealer.  So there is a blog movement that is entitled Thursday Thirteen that lists thirteen items from different topics each Thursday.  In my own twist, and in an effort to move away from the Friday Fun Pic I’m going to try my hand at The Ten.

To kick off my first Ten, I’m sharing with y’all ten places I’d like to visit before I die.  They are, in no particular order, unless I win the lottery then I could be forced to rank them:

Machu Picchu



Rio – specifically the Corcovado Statue overlooking Rio

The highlands in Scotland

The mountains in Sweden


South Korea (this one may acutally happen soon if we decide to travel)

The Sahara Desert

The African Plains

I love this girl!

October 12, 2006 at 9:13 am | Posted in What the hell? | Leave a comment

Kudos to Sandra Bullock for speaking her mind at a recent premiere in New York.  What got her going you ask?  Apparently a reporter inquired if Ms. Bullock and hubby Jesse James were expecting a child.  To which Ms. Bullock angrily replied, “Oh my God.  That is just a disgusting question.  What if I couldn’t have kids?  You know what?  That’s the way you make women feel when you ask them that question!”

Good for her for saying what should be said when faced with such an ignorant question.

Bitter babble

October 11, 2006 at 4:06 pm | Posted in Adoption Updates | 2 Comments

I’ve been such a bad blogger lately.  Slacker, gen-x’er, lazy all around.  I think there hasn’t been anything really floating around in my mind that I’ve wanted or seemed worthy of sharing.  I still feel that way but seeing as how someone is still coming around to check out the blog, I feel as though I owe you a new post.

What I’ve been thinking most about is all the hub-bub surrounding Madonna and is she or isn’t she adopting a little boy from Africa.  Can you, for one moment, imagine being that little boy?  Fortunately he has no idea what kind of media circus is swirling outside his village.  But with our information age and the long-term sustainability of information some day he may know.  Regardless if Madonna adopts him or not, his life has forever changed.  And for what?  Publicity?  Jumping on the celebrity bandwagon of international adoption?  Will we ever know?

I mean, really, do you think Madonna, Meg Ryan and Angelia Jolie went through the miles of paperwork “regular” adoptive parents have to negotiate?  Did they attend parenting classes and learn about attachment parenting and bonding issues common in institutionalized children?  Did they schlep down to the local USCIS office and have their fingerprints taken?  Twice?  Did they wait for their I600A to be approved and wait anxiously to hear of their referral?  Does their Social Worker have to constantly refresh their memory regarding their adoption status?  Did they hang by pins and needles waiting for “the call” regarding their travel status?

I’m guessing no…to all of the above.  What is their adoption reality?  I have no idea…I probably don’t want to know.  But what I hate the most about this is that it perpetuates the fallacy that adoption is easy.  And it perpetuates the perception that money really does make all the difference.

Edited to add:  apparently Meg Ryan did pursue her adoption through “normal” channels and spoke about it on Oprah.  You can read a little about it here.

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