Ho-Ho….Holy Ho

November 30, 2006 at 1:50 pm | Posted in What the hell? | 2 Comments

Being a stay at home mom has its benefits, some more obvious than others.  One of the greatest things this time of year is being able to shop during the week early in the morning before the mall gets horrifically crowded. 

After a week or so of absolutely fabulous weather in the 60’s, we’re on the brink of a winter storm warning indicating total snow accumulation over the next 48 hours somewhere between 6-10 inches.  As a veteran Chicago winter survivor, I’ll believe it when I see it. Ah, I digress…..back to the issue at hand.  Shopping.  This morning we took a quick jaunt to the mall to take advantage of some great coupons and snag Bean a Little Mermaid barbie-type doll. 

My primary objective was to purchase a gift card for a gift exchange my girlfriends and I have each Christmas.   We’ve been exchanging jammies but opted for something a little more fun and flexible this year with the only caveat that the gift card be from a store whose primary items for sale is clothing.  (Meaning no Target gift cards ladies).  Having been challenged to “be creative” and obsessed with Justin Timberlake‘s song Sexy Back, I headed to the most creative and sexy store I could think of.  Victoria’ Secret.

Now, I have not worked in a corporate environment for three years now.  The bulk of my shoping is done at Target and if I’m feeling like spending some serious money, Old Navy.  Needless to say my wardrobe is one step away from being nominated for What Not To Wear.  A primary staple in my undergarment department: granny panties.  Yep.  I wear em.  I wear em proud.  So for me to walk into Victoria’s Secret is like Britney Spears walking into…well any undergarment store apparently.  Again, I digress…..

Imagine my shock and horror when Bean says, “Mommy, what’s that?”  I turn, look and stumble on what to answer.  Seriously, how do you answer that question to a three year old who is looking at this:

What I wanted to say was “Well honey that is some distorted image of what some people think a woman should be.  Totally unrealistic fantasy whore that actually enjoys completely impractical under things and large feathery Phoenix-type wings.”  But considering she is only three the best I could manage was “It’s kinda like a picture….it’s just pretend.”  Ugh…the things I have to look forward too.

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2 Comments »

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  1. You are so totally awesome.

    I am waiting to be driven to our monthly girl thing as I type this. I do have on practical under things.

    You could just tell her she is someone who doesn’t feel good about herself?

    I do love you. Stay a writing. please.xx

  2. You are too funny. 🙂 Thanks for the giggle….. 🙂


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