Get Outta My Head

January 31, 2007 at 8:47 am | Posted in What the hell? | 6 Comments

You know who you are.  You do this every time I have some major life event.  You creep into my subconscious and pop out in the most realistic, fantastic dreams.  You are there.  You want to be with me.  You make me question everything I’ve done since we’ve been together.  You make it so easy for me to want to leave.  Then I wake up.  And you’re not there.  I realize it’s another dream.  But I’m on to you now and I know why you appear.  It’s to remember back to a time when things were stress-free and easy and totally unrealistic in terms of an adult existence.  And we both know that.  Because we talked about it in real life once.  It was when we said good-bye to each other.

Busy Busy Busy

January 29, 2007 at 10:52 am | Posted in General Junk | 1 Comment

Too busy to blog….must get ready to travel….will promise post before we leave…..

Friday Fun Pic – part 24

January 26, 2007 at 7:51 am | Posted in Friday Fun Pic | 2 Comments

Hang on little man…we’re on our way….

Stop the Presses

January 25, 2007 at 11:27 am | Posted in Adoption Updates | 6 Comments

Apparently the adoption Gods heard the cries of injustice ringing throughout the land and have answered my Corona induced prayers.

Our agency received written confirmation that Boy King is ready to travel and the agency would welcome us to come get him.  We’re going to Korea baby!!!

One week to prepare…so much to do….so many lists to make….I need to stock up on some Tums…it’s gonna be a long week….

Patience and Strength My Ass

January 25, 2007 at 7:08 am | Posted in Adoption Updates | 2 Comments

So here’s the time-line:

Friday, January 19: being the impatient person I am and against what I’ve told anyone and everyone who has asked, I email my social worker for any information she can provide regarding the Boy King’s travel.  She tells me that currently no there is no information regarding his travel but that she has just received an updated medical report and all is well.   She reports that the director of our agency is traveling to Korea on Saturday to meet with director of the Korean agency at which time they will discuss all pending cases.  She also inquires if we would be willing to provide pictures of said Boy King once he has been placed in our care as the foster mother and birth parents would like to receive pictures.  Birth Parents?  I assumed that once they placed him for adoption they wouldn’t want to see him.  Or couldn’t see him.  Suddenly I’m in instant panic mode.  We had already decided we would be providing regular updates in written and photo form when we began this process so hey, no biggie.  But what’s the deal with the birth parents?  Turns out they paid him a visit in December but our Social Worker promises it’s nothing to worry about.  Nothing to worry about?  I thought international adoption was supposed to be “safe” when it came to birth parents changing their mind.  Social worker offers up, “Well, it is always possible that birth parents can change their minds but it is rare.  I would take comfort in knowing that they visited him in December and made no movement to have him removed from foster care.”  Ok that is what I’m going with.

Saturday, January 20: living in denial that anything could be remotely amiss.

Sunday, January 21: Having fun, drinking beer, watching the Bears kick ass, living in denial.

Monday, January 22: See Sunday, January 21 with the exception of Bears kicking ass and drinking beer.

Tuesday, January 23:  Call social worker to confirm medical update is on its way to us and see if she has heard from the director regarding our case.  She has and it’s good news.  Since our agency in Korea has been having difficulty arranging escorts for children, it has been asked if we would be willing to travel.  Because Boy King is ready to roll.  Would we prefer an escort?  Absolutely.  If the only reason why he isn’t home yet because there is no one to escort him?  Apparently.  Would we be willing to beg, plead and sell our souls to our families to watch Bean while we travel?  In a heartbeat!  So give us 24 hours to see what we can pull together in terms of a care plan for Bean and travel arrangements and we’ll get back to you!!!!

During the most of the evening hours dearest husband practically talks the pants off the reservation agent at American Airlines to book us on flights leaving in 1 week practically all on his frequent flyer miles!  We even have enough miles left to bump up to business class.   SCORE!  We’re on our way!  Place a 24 hour hold on the flights and we’ll book after we confirm that the flights allow us enough time in-country.  Email flight times to social worker and wait…..

Wednesday, January 24:  Wait until 1:15pm to call social worker because she hasn’t responded to email.  After 20 minute conversation this is what I come away with:  there is no formal approval for Boy King to travel.  She was acting on a hunch and a conversation between our director and Korean director stating “he is ready to travel.”  She thinks it is ok for us to go.  Thinks.   Sorry Charlie…way too much room for interpretation here.  We have family members changing their schedules for a week to accommodate our 3 year old and we’re booking non-refundable tickets by cashing in frequent flyer miles because dang, it’s expensive to fly to Korea on your hunch?   Oh yeah, and did I mention that she slips in that there will be five, yes FIVE babies ESCORTED home on this Friday and Boy King is NOT ONE OF THEM.  Even though I think the majority of those babies were referred after us.



January 24, 2007 at 2:52 pm | Posted in Adoption Updates | 2 Comments

I’ll explain tomorrow…..

Edited to add:  damn, that is a fine picture!

R V. W

January 23, 2007 at 3:32 pm | Posted in Infertility | 1 Comment

Had I been more in tune with what was going on out in the world yesterday I would have seen that it was the anniversary of the Roe V. Wade supreme court decision legalizing abortion.  There was also an idea moving throughout the blog world to blog about their experience/feelings about being pro-choice.  So here goes:

I would have never wanted anyone to tell me that, when diagnosed with fertility problems, it would be illegal for me to pursue treatment to become pregnant.   In reversed roles, I would never want to tell anyone that they did not have the right to choose for themselves what is best for them.

I would never want to tell my daughter that she will have to suffer through an unwanted pregnancy.

I would never want a child born to a family that wasn’t prepared to raise that child. 

I would never force a woman to bear a child and place it for adoption unless she wanted to.

Pro-choice doesn’t have to mean pro-abortion.  It means choice.  I think pro-life fanatics forget that not all women who are pro-choice choose abortion.  We just want the right and respect to choose for ourselves.

Bear Down

January 22, 2007 at 8:32 am | Posted in General Junk | Leave a comment

I’ll be the FIRST to admit that I’m a Johnny-Come-Lately fan and can honestly only name about 3 people on the team (one of which has been in the news for his off the field antics so that doesn’t even really count).  But there is a lot to be said for watching a good game with people who are really into it and having their team win.

So for the first time since 1985 when I was a junior in High School, the Bears are Superbowl bound.  There will be much rejoicing in Chicago for the next two weeks…and I can only imagine how many times we’ll be hearing the Super Bowl Shuffle.  Ugh.

So congrats to the team and thanks for making me now actually want to watch more than the commercials on Feb 4.

Friday Fun Pic – part 23

January 19, 2007 at 9:47 am | Posted in Friday Fun Pic | 2 Comments

I snapped this pic a week or so ago.  Now that Bean is 3 she seems able to function fairly well without a nap…although it has a tendency to catch up with her now and then and she just passes out cold.  Case and point:

This was following a 30 minute snooze in her bed to which I somehow awoke her.  Oh yeah, it’s because I insist on checking on her while she is sleeping to make sure she is ok.  Duh…I carried her downstairs to the couch where she promptly passed out for another 2 hours.  Nah, she don’t need no stinkin’ nap.

Regarding Henry – Part 2

January 18, 2007 at 4:02 pm | Posted in Adoption Updates | Leave a comment

Henry the Boy King is 6 months old today.  I wonder more and more what he may be doing throughout the day.  Here are some things he may be working on:

  • Single hard consonants (dada)
  • Rolling over – both ways
  • Sitting only slightly assisted in the tripod position
  • Making attempts to feed self
  • Bearing weight on legs when held in a standing position
  • Playing social games like peek-a-boo

But this one killed me:

  • Is able to recognize each parent and may begin to show stranger anxiety

Each day that passes without a call from our agency is heartbreaking and gut wrenching.  Can I tell you how many times I have picked up the phone to check and see if there is a dial tone?  But each passed day  is also one day closer to his world being turned upside down.  Selfishly we want him home.  Yesterday.  But we also mourn for the loss he will feel for his foster mother.  He has lived with his foster family for 5 months.  They are the only family he knows and soon he will be starting over at square one with us.  Strangers.

 People tell us children are resilient.  Children are stronger than you think.  But if you could only recognize familiar faces without being able to communicate directly with them, how unsettling would it be for you to be taken from them and placed with new, strange faces you’ve never seen before?   He’ll adjust.  Certainly he will.  We will become his new constant and we will love him and nurture him and protect him.  It’s just a part of his life journey I wish he didn’t have to experience.

I checked a time conversion website and learned that there is a 13 hour difference between Chicago and Seoul which means it is (at the time of this writing) about to be 7 am on Friday morning.  He must be waking up and starting his day.  A bottle.  Some cereal.  A little play time before a morning nap.  Oh how I wish he was here….in our arms…..and how thankful I am to his foster family for loving him until we can.

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