The Wonders of Spring

April 22, 2008 at 7:48 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Mourning what isn’t there

April 18, 2008 at 9:21 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments

I spent the morning on Thursday doing some stuff with Sophie.  It was an ordinary enough day.  Just like any other day.  Except that when I returned home there were 4 messages on my answering machine.  And no one had tried to call me on my cell phone.  So I returned the calls – first to my sister who has the uncanny task of delivering bad news to me.  I could tell by the tone of her voice on her message that something was going on.  But what exactly I wasn’t sure.

My Dad died.  Apparently in his sleep due to a heart attack.  He has had a history of heart ailments and honestly he was probably 50 lbs overweight and smoked and drank too much.  At least I think.  See, several years ago we had a falling out.  He choose a life-path for himself that I couldn’t agree with – for a variety of reasons.  Mostly what it boiled down to in more recent years was the the fact that he could not or would not have a more reliable/constant presence in my life/my kids lives and the title of grandfather was an honor and priviledge to earn from my children.  I made it clear to him that when he was willing and/or able to be such then we would move forward from there.

That was a couple of years ago and it was then that I mourned the loss of my father.  We had never had the relationship I imagined a father/daughter should/would have but it was what I had.  For as long as I had it.  Until I was old enough to know it wasn’t enough and he wasn’t able to make it what I needed it to be.  So I mourned my loss back then.  Way back then.  It was over.  Done.

Until yesterday when I had to start mourning the loss of the possibility that there could ever be a relationship at some point down the road.  I didn’t think of it much because I figured there would be time.  And honestly I’m not really sad. Mostly shocked.  It seems surreal that he is gone.  Lying somewhere in a morgue right now awaiting to be transported to a funeral home where he will be cremated.  It’s hard to mourn something you lost so long ago.  Mostly I greive for my grandmother who has lost not only her parents but her husband, her younger brother and all three of her children.  And my father’s wife who has lost a husband.  So I’m wandering around in a half-fog trying to figure out how I really feel and wondering how long it will take to feel final closure to this chapter of my life.  Because now it really is over. 

Seriously…you must be joking

April 17, 2008 at 4:27 pm | Posted in Adoption Updates | 3 Comments

Are you sitting down?  Really, are you sitting down?  Today, a beautiful, Spring day in which the temperatures must be in the low 60’s and I’m outside with my kids enjoying the fresh air, sunshine and a new bubble machine.  I can hear the rumble of the mail truck coming and Sophie asks, “Are there any magazines for me?”  To which I respond, “I’m not sure.  I’ll have to check.”  And when the rumbling hasn’t stopped for a few minutes I wonder what the issue is.  I try to strategically creep out onto my driveway so I can still keep an eye on my kids and shout out a “Hello??”  And our mailman approaches from our front porch.  I hear myself saying, “Please don’t tell me that is from Immigration.”  He says, “Sorry…”  I say “I don’t want to sign for it.”  He says, “Yeah, you know how the government works.”  I say, “YEAH!!!  Oops…sorry.”  He says, “Don’t worry about it.  I work for the fools.”

Yes.  The lousy bastards at Immigration SENT MY APPLICATION BACK AGAIN.  Why?  Because the form wasn’t signed.  You know what?  It was fucking signed.  By me. NOT BY MY 21 MONTH OLD SON.  READ THE FORM ASSHOLES.  There is a section that denotes if you are filling out the application on behalf of someone else.   Yeah because I know my son is bright but shit, at 21 months he just can’t quite sign his name yet.

So now I’ll be $15 in the hole for postage for THREE attempts at someone who has an education higher than, gee I don’t know.  Kindergarten?  Because I’m pretty sure that both my neice and nephew could read this form better than the flunkies at USCIS in Chicago possibly can.

 by the by…wordpress has changed their dashboard and my spell check isn’t working. So in the event there are spelling errors, please cut me some slack and disregard.


April 15, 2008 at 6:54 am | Posted in General Junk | 2 Comments

la·zy  [ley-zee]  1.  not eager or willing to work or exert oneself.  2.  sluggish.  3.  washing an entire load of clothes, regardless of color and/or fabric in one batch just so I can get it done quickly.

Rootbeer Skin

April 13, 2008 at 7:47 pm | Posted in Birthdays | 1 Comment

Ah Cole….we did forget to call tonight to wish you the happiest of birthdays even though yesterday I reminded myself to call while talking to your mom.  This is what happens when we get old as you will see some day far from now.

It seems it took forever for you to get here – which it almost did.  56 hours or so of labor for your poor mother but darn it if you weren’t worth every last minute.  You had the best hair sticky-uppy when you were younger that reminded us of Grandpa Mac.  You are growing into a little man before our eyes – and you are so loving, gentle and kind to Sophie and Henry.  Six years down and a lifetime to go.  We hope you had a very happy day today and we can’t wait to see you soon.


Even though this is quite old, it is one of my favorite pictures of you…you were soooo excited to try on Kate’s hat and mittens this particular Christmas. Those eyes and those cheeks are just too much to resist!

Conversations with Sophie – Act 11

April 11, 2008 at 7:31 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

As a respite from the craziness of single parenting while the husband is away, weary mom turns on Jon and Kate Plus 8 to assure herself that if they can do it with twins and sextuplets, she can do it on her own with just two kids.  This episode finds the Gosselin clan visiting a local organic farm where they get to feed chickens, take a hay ride and watch the cows get milked. 

Mom (hoping for a bit of distraction for almost 2 year old who is BEYOND crabby): Hey Henry, look at the chickens!

Henry:  bok bok!!!

Mom:  Sophie, look at the cows.  There are baby ones too!

Sophie: Do cows eat people?

Mom:   Not if we eat them first….

Henry:   bok bok!!!

Edited to add: I had forgotten we had taken this picture last May at the lake.  Sneakly little suckers…

Good help is hard to find

April 9, 2008 at 2:47 pm | Posted in Adoption Updates | 4 Comments

So allegedly the final step of our adoption is to apply for a Certificate of Citizenship for  Henry.  This will declare him a naturalized citizen of the United States and we can get his status with Social Security changed to naturalized citizen and then all the i’s will be dotted and the t’s will be crossed.  I completed the form, mailed the check and sent it off to USCIS last week.  The trickiest part was getting Henry to pose for passport sized pictures at Walgreens.  Not.  An.  Easy.  Feat.  At.  All.

Guess what I got back in the mail today?  Our application.  Why?  (Mom, you can skim over the next couple of words)  Because the motherfucker at USCIS didn’t take a second to actually READ our application which indicates we are applying on behalf of our ADOPTED child in which case the fee is $40 LESS than that for a biological child.  Apparently the dumbass at USCIS thinks Henry is our biological child thus they are requesting we submit the correct payment with our application.

So hey,  clerk ATB or AHB or whatever the hell your chicken-scratching penmanship initials are on the lovely form letter attached to the fee schedule in which you highlighted fees for biological and adopted children, WE PAID THE RIGHT FEE SO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS, READ AND PROCESS OUR APPLICATION.

The Bird is the Word

April 4, 2008 at 2:39 pm | Posted in Sophie stuff | 2 Comments

Never in a million years would I imagine that Sophie would enjoy the company of a bird so much.  I fear we may need to buy her one for her birthday…

Major thanks to Brent for sharing his pet with us this weekend!!!

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