Autumn of my life

June 18, 2008 at 12:59 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments
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So my sister in law gave me a gift certificate to victoria’s secret for christmas which is soooo nice of her because we really just exchange gifts for the kids.  Yesterday I finally got around to shopping so I went in thinking I would be able to find something in thier more modest “pink” line rather than the sluttly MILF line on the opposite side of the store.  I had Sophie with me and she was nearing her threshold of tolerance for adult shopping so I knew I had to shop quickly.

One thing I can alway settle on are jammies.  So easy and so appreciated.  In this store, however, I had no luck.  I would find something that was a cute color, right fabric, no hood, no cutsie or suggestive saying splayed across the front and when I would pick them up what would I find?  The words PINK across the ass of the pants.  Now, I’ve been feelin’ pretty good about myself lately as I’ve taken charge of the rapid approach to my 40th birthday and dropped a nice 20 lbs since last July.  I run just about every day.  I eat healthier and am maintaining my new happier, healthier weight.  I bought a size 8 freakin’ jeans and they AREN’T TIGHT!  Dare I say I am tempted to try on a 6…..

I digress.  So I continue through the store looking.  Searching.  Hopeless.  Helpless.  And then my new BFF saunters up to offer help me find what I’m looking for.  She offers her expertise and advice of what would be good for me and yet, she keeps offering tiny, transparent tee shirts and hoodies (which I’ve already explained that I hate) and a parade of PINK-ass pants that have heavy embroidered letters and even glitter.

I can see the exasperation spreading over her face and I offer a white flag of surrender.  “You see…not only am I particular.  I am old.  People tell me all the time that I don’t look as old as I am.  But I am old.  Too old to wear words across my ass.  Even when I was 16-17-18 and had a much better ass that I do today, I wouldn’t wear words across it.  So thank you for all your time and help and I’m sorry I was such a difficult shopper to try and help.”  And I walked away to the forbidden side of the store in search of something.  Anything that I could spend my gift card on.

Getting old is hell….



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  1. You crack me up! I too had a similar experience. I was at a Lacrosse tournament, feeling the wrong side of my age. Lots of young parents with younger kids. Hip sunglasses, fun hair (I hate mine), manicured nails. You get the picture. When lo and behold, a mom, older than me wearing a pair of white yoga pants, a cute white t-shirt, jean jacket and rockin’ sunglasses. I was in the process of beating myself up about being frumpy when she turned around. Right on her ass…. a bright, cursive PINK. With glitter no less. I immediately was grateful that I was dressed the way I was because every other mom (and Dad) there laughed out loud. The general feeling was that unless you are 12 … don’t wear writing on your ass. I am happy to be 43 and despite the sagging and general downward trend of my entire body, I would not trade it for anything.

  2. You could have used this opportunity to ditch the granny panties 🙂

  3. Nonsense–you look great. You could totally pulled off the pink look. :)k

  4. Seriously, what is up with shit written on your ass. And don’t think I haven’t noticed your cussin, missy. Ilikeit.

    But really, do people need a reason, say something to occupy their attention while they look at your ass? Seriously…is it like a test for dumbass teenage boys to assess their literacy? If you are gonna spell something and display it on your ass it should be complicated than pink. Maybe like reconoider? Or Implication. Or digression. Or…pervert?
    and I am sure you could totally wear the MILF wear my dear…running, size 6? xxx

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