Observing the Observers

July 28, 2008 at 6:59 am | Posted in What the hell? | 3 Comments

There are times when I feel like a slacker mom because I don’t have my kids enrolled in 10,000 activities.  I don’t really like to go to the park.  I enjoy the public swimming pool even less.  I don’t even really like sitting in my own backyard, with no one to talk to, watching my kids play.  Unless I crack a beer or two but that generally leads to three or four and that just isn’t good. 

So, in the spirit of embracing some cooler temperatures and lower humidity, I loaded up the kids and went to the zoo today.  We are members at a nearby zoo and typically get there shortly after it opens and leave just as the masses are scoping out picnic spots.  Me, being the Queen of Snacking Moms, continually feed my kids whatever will keep them quiet, obedient and in the wagon while we look at the animals.  Today I found myself frustrated at the lack of social graces by the most sophisticated mammals, humans.  Here are a few of my observations:

-When walking down the paths between animal exhibits please yield to the right-hand side of the road.  This allows traffic to move smoothly throughout the zoo.   When carting around 4+ children or when traveling in packs of 2 or more adults with children,  it does NOT mean you can hog the entire path and force everyone else to walk around you. 

-Don’t let your 2, 3, 4, well how about anyone under the age of 12, push your overloaded stroller or wagon in the areas more densely populated.  There are wide open spaces to let the future drivers of America practice rolling over toes.


-I don’t care what anyone says, I would rather eat the ass end of a skunk than smell the penguin exhibit.  (Just for you CJ).  They are seriously the most foul smelling animals on the planet that I have encountered.

-I love the fact that our zoo has a Leine Lodge but damn, I’m not going to pay $8.75 for a 20oz beer that I have to feel like a lush and drink by myself.  Even though every time we go to the zoo it is the only thing I can think of that I really want to see/enjoy.

-The Chicago Public School System has some work to do.  While visiting the Hippo exhibit I heard not only one but three adult chaperones to a summer camp program tell the kids the Hippo was a Rhino.  WTF?

-All you swanky city moms, or suburban moms for that matter, who sport the Bugaboo strollers is it really necessary I mean really NECESSARY to own a stroller that costs $1,000?  It seems somehow irresponsible to me to have a stroller that costs nearly as much as a good used CAR.



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  1. ROFLMAO. Seriously, Amy, you & I are the same person sometimes. I gave up on the zoo for many of the same reasons and refuse to go without another adult for reinforcement.

    Oh, and I got pooped on by a bird in said penguin exhibit, so you can imagine how much I love it in there too…

  2. Dude.

    Can I get an amen?

    And you know its hawt when you swear (close you eyes A’s mom).

    And seriously, I don’t care how much the beer at the zoo was, you deserved it!

  3. Your blog is interesting!

    Keep up the good work!

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