Woulda Coulda Shoulda

June 13, 2010 at 8:16 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I hate these mornings when I wake from a tormet of dreams swirling my past, present and future into some clusterfuck of raw emotion that sets the day of shitty.   Questioning just about every major decision I’ve made to bring me to this point in life and wondering what disasterous decisions I will make in the coming days.  My stomach is sick but I want breakfast but not here.  Somewhere away from here where I can hear the ocean and feel a cool, salty breeze on my face.  So I can pretend that the here and now is just a dream and the cyclone of the night is what is.


June 4, 2010 at 9:35 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I’m not sure how it is I came to be there…..I know my mom and aunt went to a camp hastings but I want to think it wasn’t the one I went to.  Regardless…I went there for quite a while which I find completely amazing since I am such a homebody now and then I went away for two weeks each summer without so much as a sideways glimpse towards my home.  I loved it there.  Swimming.  Sailing.  Horseback riding.  Sneaky sticks (which sounds horribly dirty but I promise you it is not).  Hopping.  Teatherball.  Campfires.  The Hunchback of Hastings.  I made friends then that I still have today.  It is an experience that you cannot really explain to someone who has not gone to summer camp.  It is a magical place that only those who tread on the  grounds can understand.  I loved it.  To the bottom of my soul.  And it is a cherished memory that I will carry with me forever.


June 2, 2010 at 1:56 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I have so many things floating around inside my head.  Inside my heart.  And they are looking for a way out.  But every time I sit down to type them out here they get stuck.  I’m not sure why they are sticking.  I really want them out.  So I’m looking for a way to get them out.  Searching for an outlet that is safe to explore what it is that is churning inside me.   I’m hoping it will be soon because it’s kinda starting to drive me crazy.  I can’t write.  I don’t want to take pictures…and that one hurts.  I used to take some good pics of the kids but with all these things stuck inside my head, the passion and creativity that used to fuel those photos is gone.  And that sucks.

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