I’ll Tell You What I Want, What I Really, Really Want

September 2, 2010 at 2:02 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

With a birthday just around the corner I’ve been wondering what I would ask for if someone were to ask me what I want for my birthday.  I think once people reach a certain age, they find themselves with the material things they want – or the means to get the material things they want.  I find myself longing for intangible things but wonder why I would request of someone else the things I can only give myself.

I recently took a personality test and yes, despite some dispute I was found to have an actual personality.  Seriously though, I think I’ve learned the source of my angst.  I am a romantic.  Life is nothing without sensitive personal ties, shared experiences and intimate attachments.   I am concerned not so much with practical realities as with meaningful possibilities, with romantic ideals.  It is why when my life is drowning in reality I escape to fantasy.  Of a time in my life when things were so much less complicated.  And memories are clouded with the haze of time, all the rough edges filed away.  I long for these easy days.  For the uncomplicated haze of memory.

So for my birthday this year I am going to give myself permission to linger a bit longer in the hazy days of the past as I try to pull myself out of the fog and into the clearer skies of days to come.

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