I’ll Tell You What I Want, What I Really, Really Want

September 2, 2010 at 2:02 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

With a birthday just around the corner I’ve been wondering what I would ask for if someone were to ask me what I want for my birthday.  I think once people reach a certain age, they find themselves with the material things they want – or the means to get the material things they want.  I find myself longing for intangible things but wonder why I would request of someone else the things I can only give myself.

I recently took a personality test and yes, despite some dispute I was found to have an actual personality.  Seriously though, I think I’ve learned the source of my angst.  I am a romantic.  Life is nothing without sensitive personal ties, shared experiences and intimate attachments.   I am concerned not so much with practical realities as with meaningful possibilities, with romantic ideals.  It is why when my life is drowning in reality I escape to fantasy.  Of a time in my life when things were so much less complicated.  And memories are clouded with the haze of time, all the rough edges filed away.  I long for these easy days.  For the uncomplicated haze of memory.

So for my birthday this year I am going to give myself permission to linger a bit longer in the hazy days of the past as I try to pull myself out of the fog and into the clearer skies of days to come.

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  1. xxxx. Shit. I totally missed you dang birthday. I did invite you come stay at my house around this time and you TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE COME BECAUSE THE PARTY WAS EPIC. And we had snowballs. SO glad you are blogging again regularly.

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