Autumn of my life

June 18, 2008 at 12:59 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments
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So my sister in law gave me a gift certificate to victoria’s secret for christmas which is soooo nice of her because we really just exchange gifts for the kids.  Yesterday I finally got around to shopping so I went in thinking I would be able to find something in thier more modest “pink” line rather than the sluttly MILF line on the opposite side of the store.  I had Sophie with me and she was nearing her threshold of tolerance for adult shopping so I knew I had to shop quickly.

One thing I can alway settle on are jammies.  So easy and so appreciated.  In this store, however, I had no luck.  I would find something that was a cute color, right fabric, no hood, no cutsie or suggestive saying splayed across the front and when I would pick them up what would I find?  The words PINK across the ass of the pants.  Now, I’ve been feelin’ pretty good about myself lately as I’ve taken charge of the rapid approach to my 40th birthday and dropped a nice 20 lbs since last July.  I run just about every day.  I eat healthier and am maintaining my new happier, healthier weight.  I bought a size 8 freakin’ jeans and they AREN’T TIGHT!  Dare I say I am tempted to try on a 6…..

I digress.  So I continue through the store looking.  Searching.  Hopeless.  Helpless.  And then my new BFF saunters up to offer help me find what I’m looking for.  She offers her expertise and advice of what would be good for me and yet, she keeps offering tiny, transparent tee shirts and hoodies (which I’ve already explained that I hate) and a parade of PINK-ass pants that have heavy embroidered letters and even glitter.

I can see the exasperation spreading over her face and I offer a white flag of surrender.  “You see…not only am I particular.  I am old.  People tell me all the time that I don’t look as old as I am.  But I am old.  Too old to wear words across my ass.  Even when I was 16-17-18 and had a much better ass that I do today, I wouldn’t wear words across it.  So thank you for all your time and help and I’m sorry I was such a difficult shopper to try and help.”  And I walked away to the forbidden side of the store in search of something.  Anything that I could spend my gift card on.

Getting old is hell….

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