Driver Eight

Happy First

I’ve been thinking a lot about today and what it means to many people.  For most people I would imagine it is just a day.  For some people it is a day to say I love you, to say I want you, to say hello and for others it is a day to say good-bye.  Today is the day one year ago that Henry was welcomed into this world, half a world away from where he is now.  His birth mother held him and loved him and wished for him a Beautiful Life.  And her love for him was so strong that she let him go to have the things she could not provide for him.  But what she can and does provide for him is love that today for her must be bittersweet.

One of the reasons why we choose international adoption is for the closed, final aspect of the placement.  The children we surendered prior to referral so there was no chance a birth mother could change her mind.  We didn’t want the complication of the emotional weight of having a domestic birth mother involved in our lives. But now….now….what a difference a year can make.  I think of her and his birth father often as they were still a couple when we traveled to Korea to bring Henry home.  They had visited him together and brought him gifts to remember them by.  His birth mother called his Social Worker frequently to ensure he was growing well and being cared for.

We’ve sent three letters and sets of pictures to Korea that were placed into his file at the agency with the strong feeling that his birth parents have come back to retrieve them.  I long to connect these people with their son and ease their concern that their son is growing, happy and well loved.

We will always share this day with four other parents, his first parents and hold them close to our hearts as Henry has invaded all of our hearts.  And his foster parents who loved him more than we really knew and made sure he was safe until his journey to us.  He is the single thread that holds us together and will for a lifetime.

So here we are little man, one year old and growing like a weed.  Inquisitive as hell, easily knocked over by the slightest tickling touch, determined to explore the world around you.  Happy Birthday….

One Day to Tol

We had Henry’s party over the weekend and thankfully Mother Nature cooperated nicely.  We had a chance of rain but the day was dry and even quite mild compared to a “normal” July weekend.  Lots of family came out to help us celebrate and despite the long day and lots of chaos, Henry was a trooper.

A Korean tradition at a child’s Tol is to present them with a tray of items that symbolize different aspects of the child’s future.  We presented him with his Tol tray with the following items: a book (a scholar), a knife (a good cook), rice (wealth), jujube (which is a date to symbolize many descendants), needle and thread (long life) and a ruler (talented with his hands).  The only thing we left off was a weapon to symbolize becoming a good warrior.   We didn’t have any play weapons to offer so I guess he won’t be a fighter but a lover.

After checking out the tray, his first pick was:

THE RULER!!!!!  Good with his hands…ok….now the second pick:

THE RICE!!!!   Wealth.  So I decided on the spot that he’ll be playing for the Red Sox and most likely be a Golden Glove winner.  (When in reality he probably picked the ruler because it was long, red and looked like it could be used to hit anything.  The rice was the most likely second pick because it was a perfect aid in making noise either by shaking or beating repeatedly with the ruler).

He had no problem diving into cake although he wasn’t so fond of having so much frosting on his hands.  He kept trying to shake it off much to the dismay of those standing close by.  He got me with a good glob of frosting as I was snapping pictures.

We got an extra special surprise gift for Henry.  Turns out a family not too far from us was traveling in Korea when they made an inpromptu visit to Eastern.  They have two adopted children from Korea and on a whim decided to connect with their son’s foster mother (with the help of the guide that was showing them through Seoul).  They were fortunate enough to meet her for the first time and she was happy to see the little boy she cared for grown, happy and well loved.  While the family was visiting they were asked if they wouldn’t mind carring back a package to their agency in Illinois as a favor to a foster mother in Korea.  They said yes and it turns out it was a gift for Henry from his foster mother.  It was a set of porcelean figures dressed in traditional folk clothing.  As well as a note indicating she was happy to receive the letters and pictures we’ve sent to her and so very happy to see Henry doing well.  Honestly, that was the highlight of the day and we can’t wait to send along these pictures as well. 

Tomorrow (the 18th) is his actual birthday and we’ll be putting him in his Hanbok for pictures so be sure to check back tomorrow or Thursday for more pictures.

Countdown to Tol-part 1

T-minus 8 days to Henry’s Tol!!!! 

Tol is the term for a child’s first birthday in Korea and is comprised of four major components: prayer and giving thanks, making and wearing of the birthday clothes, preparing the table and performing the Toljabee and sharing the food with guests and neighbors (more details in days to come).

So I think we’ve got the sharing of the food (beer is food, right) part down:

And although at first blush it does not appear to be as impressive as the stash for Bean’s 3rd birthday fiesta, alas there are reinforcements: