Cold Hands, Warm Heart, Hard Head

November 29, 2007 at 11:48 am | Posted in Henry Stuff | Leave a comment
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I’m wondering how we’ll survive the winter months indoors.  Sophie has school to distract her a few days a week but Henry…man he is already climbing the walls and it’s not even December.  Just in the last two days he’s suffered three minor head injuries. 

The first was while donning a baseball hat which he thinks is pretty cool.  The only problem is he thinks it’s really fun to walk around with it pulled down over his eyes.  This resulted in a bleeding scratch to his wrist and a knot/bruise combo above his left eye.

The second was while spinning….this kids loves to spin.  I’ve given up trying to get him to stop rather I move as many obstacles as I can out of his way and let him have at it.  Unfortunately he seems to be loosing that battle and not quite understanding why it is he keeps falling and yes hurting his head.  He has a faint shiner over his right eye from contacting the floor.

The third was suffered while shaking his head vigorously while standing at the coffee table.  Silly me I tried to stop him and instead of saving him from harm he pulled his head forward out of my grasp and whacked his forehead on the table.  Nice bindi looking knot in the middle.

 At least his injuries are well balanced…no pun intended. (I tried to take a picture but the injuries can’t really be captured on film – thankfully).

Thankful…really

November 22, 2007 at 7:38 am | Posted in Holidays | 1 Comment
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So I’ve been thinking about what I’m thankful for seeing as it is Thanksgiving and we are giving thanks, right?   So as I pondered through the canned answers (family, friends, health, children, blah, blah, blah) I thought I should really think about what it is I’m thankful for.  And although my list may seem shallow, it is honestly and truly what I am thankful for.

I am thankful that we have enough money to live in a house that is safe structurally and enviornmentally that provides heat, coolness, water and shelter.

I am thankful that I have clothes on my back that are new and warm.

I am thankful for indoor plumbing and an endless supply of hot water in which to bathe and cook.

I am thankful I was born to white, suburban, middle to upper middle class family.

I am thankful I can afford to stay home and raise my children the way I think they should be raised.

This is so much more than many people have and I am thankful and grateful it is mine.

At A Minimum

November 20, 2007 at 8:30 am | Posted in General Junk | 2 Comments

Two weeks ago I visited the eye doctor for my annual check and splurged on a new pair of specs.  Seems I’ve been wearing my glasses more and more lately and it has been quite a long time since I bought a new pair.  So while chatting up the gal who sits at the front desk and browsing over the literally tens of thousands of frames to choose from, I heard something slip from my mouth that got me thinking.

I mentioned out loud that being a stay-at-home-mom of two small kids meant that sometimes certain things had to go by the wayside.  One of the first things to go was the time to put in my contact lenses because glasses are so much easier to throw on.  One time waster out of my way is a big deal…all you parents know that.  Heck, any busy person knows that.

So what got me thinking was how my idea of minimums have changed since I’ve become a parent.   I can remember a time when I didn’t dare step into public unless I had applied a minimum amount of make-up so as not to appear completely without life.  I never, ever left the house in sweat pants.  There were always comfy jeans or capri’s to pull on so as to appear somewhat put together.   Mind you, I am no fashionista by ANY MEANS but I had to feel somewhat human even if only to blend in with the masses.  If I were ever desperate enough to leave my house without showering (usually for a hung-over trek to Burger King for grease and carbonation) I would pull on a baseball hat so low as to almost cover my eyes to avoid any sideways glances from strangers or even worse, someone I might actually know.

Then came parenthood.  I remember talking to friends who had kids before me stating that a good day when  a new baby was home was being able to take a shower.  For the life of me I could not fathom not being able to take a shower with a baby that basically eats, sleeps and poops.  They sleep so there is obviously time for personal hygiene.  Right?  Ha ha hahahahahahahahah…..  So your expectation or need or downright desire to prepare yourself for public viewing changes dramatically.  I remember thinking wow….I got a shower today and that was seriously good news.

So kids grow and things get a bit easier but there are still minimum expectations I’ve set for myself.  Showers happen every other day for sure.  If I’m not showering then I need to at least take a straight iron to my hair to remove the majority of the tell-tale bed-head crinkles.  I brush my teeth every morning before we greet any member of the general public.  Make-up is completely optional but my glasses are a must have.  Especially the new ones.  And if I happen to catch any sideways glances or better yet run into anyone who knew me before children, I simply say to myself I’d much rather have two children in my life to worry about then worrying about what I might look like on the outside.  Because on the inside I’m shining and that’s all that really matters.

You Don’t Say

November 7, 2007 at 7:13 am | Posted in What the hell? | 2 Comments
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While browsing the newspaper this morning this headline caught my eye: Abstinence programs hit but the byline was more telling Report: Programs urging teens to say no to sex aren’t working.

You can read the article here but the gist of it as written is: “Programs that focus exclusively on abstinence have not been shown to affect teenager sexual behavior, although they are eligible for tens of millions of dollars in federal grants, according to a study released by a nonpartisan group that seeks to reduce teen pregnancy.”

“A spending bill before Congress for the Department of Health and Human Services would provide $141 million in assistance for community-based, abstinence-only sex education programs.”

Well.  There go my tax dollars to good use. 

Jail Schmail

November 4, 2007 at 10:43 am | Posted in Infertility | 2 Comments
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My blog friend Cole over at Blahblahblah has an interesting post that has stirred up some old emotions in me.  See she is an amazing woman who is going to school to become a nurse while parenting two young children.  I love reading about her wild and crazy life and if you have not clicked over to her blog from mine then you are definitely missing something.  So please, click on over and then and see why I heart her.

I digress….her post…..she is currently on a rotation covering maternal and newborn wards (I don’t even know if I used the correct terminology but hell, I think you get what I mean).  She was writing about the magical stuff that oozes out of newborns.  And I don’t mean the drool and the poop I mean that mysterious stuff that makes even a stone cold hearted person melt. They way they smell and how they fit so perfectly into your arms and can just let it all go and sleep for hours on end.  And the pixie dust that clouds your heart with joy and sends all your emotions into a tizzy.  And how she does not want to go to jail for stealing one of these precious bundles from their bassinets and lackluster teen parents smoking ciggies in the hallway.

Now before you get all crazy,  you must understand she is merely JOKING and simply writing about the mystical affects that newborns have on us.  And it made me remember a time, not long enough ago, when I began to relate to these crazy people who steal children.  We were going through IVF and each cycle prompted no revelations about why I wasn’t getting pregnant.  Everything looked great.  Eggs were great.  Sperm count post wash was great.  Fertilization results were great.  Growth of embryos was good and no one could see any reason why we were not getting pregnant.  But we weren’t getting pregnant.

And I would see at every twist and turn younger and younger pregnant women.  Some with three or four children already hanging off their arms and legs as they grocery shopped.  Every celebrity was pregnant or birthing.  Every animal in the zoo was expecting.  There were unexpected pregnancies among friends and family yet here we stood.  Barren. 

And I started thinking when I went to the mall as I watched these mothers and their children that they don’t watch every minute.  How could they be so careless with such a precious gift?  Didn’t they know that danger could be lurking around the next corner?  How many times did I hear a mother chirp out to her young, “OK….if you don’t want to follow me then I’ll just leave.”  What a heinous threat.  Because you never know who may be ready to take your place if you are willing to relinquish it.

And I started to empathize with those crazy people who somewhere deep down inside in that place that is normally good and kind and loving that starts to darken with fear and dread and hopelessness.  It could be so easy to get lost in that darkness and turn against all that is good and right and just in the world.  But I don’t because although I am lost and sorrowful and feel as though I am drowning in grief for what I cannot seem to make on my own, I am good and hopeful that by “following the rules” we will be blessed if it is to be so.  And if it isn’t, well then we’ll deal with that as it comes.

What a powerful drug grief is.  It can make the sanest person insane.  It can, if you allow it, plant thoughts and ideas in your head that may make the strangest of sense in a world that is twisted and clouded by emotion.  Thankfully, for me, the threat of actually kidnapping a baby was slim but the fear of the thoughts even running through my head were enough to scare the sweet bejesus out of me.  It’s a part of my life that is gone but not entirely lost or forgotten as I find my infertility scars still run a bit close to the surface if you scratch too hard.

Boo to You

November 2, 2007 at 7:57 am | Posted in Holidays | Leave a comment
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Here’s a couple of quick shots from Halloween.  This is only the second Halloween Sophie has picked something to dress up as and pretty much stuck with it from day one.  Last year was Tinkerbell, this year a kitty:

 

She looks so grown up to me in this picture..and tall…and skinny.   But honestly…I have no idea where the alter-ego personality below is coming from.  I must check under her bed for the pod from which this creature emerged:

Perhaps it is a good thing that the Cheeta Girl got voted off dancing with the stars.  I may have underestimated her influence on my sweet and shy daughter.

And you may be wondering why there aren’t many pictures of Henry these days.  Well…this is pretty much how it goes with him.  The first shot gets off pretty well:

Then the remainder pretty much look like this because he has yet to really understand that my camera is off limits:

Well at least you can see his bottom molars are in.

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